Yelling loudly at sport on pub TV “not” vital to game progress

Recent studies have shown that yelling at sport while in a pub has a drastic and direct effect on precisely fuck all.

The shocking revelation comes as a surprise to no one except the halfwits that find themselves yelling at inanimate objects with flashing screens.

Terry Hobbs who likes to shout loudly had this to say:

“Oh yeah, I mean really it’s about the tribal hierarchies of men crammed into a room desperately trying to appear more valid and important as an alpha male. But you can’t just punch each other, you’ve got to do it by shouting something like “you blind, ref?!”

“That’s the best attention seeking behaviour, I find. Make sure you can demonstrate more knowledge of tedious game law than a highly trained man who gets paid to do it as an actual profession.”

Pub owner Ben Smith is worried about the news.

“I mean, it’s my bread and butter isn’t it? My main revenue stream comes from people who think their opinion on sport matters. They actually think it matters! If they have that taken away from them, where does it end?”

Acclaimed sport scientist Johnny Newmonic said

“Look we’re not saying that watching sports and screaming loudly as if someone gives a shit is a complete waste of energy and time, we’re just saying it’s not useful to anyone for anything ever. I hope that’s cleared things up.

“Really these people might as well go to the park and call the ducks French. It would be just as useful.”

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