Nick Clegg dramatically announced today that voting in the next general election could indeed result in the possible election of an elected person.
The Liberal Democrat leader, and part time mobile phone salesman, clearly explained that by voting for anyone on ballot day, the country could end up with yet a whole other government.
“By voting for any of the political parties, such as Labour, The Tories UKIP, SNP or us, almost any of these parties could gain seats. It’s just like the democracy we’ve had before, except this actually involves people and voting.
“This means that people really have to be careful in choosing who they vote for. If there’s one thing we’ve all learnt, it’s that governments do things. Probably”
The news comes as a revelation to everyone with no memory whatsoever.
John Everyman had this to say:
“When I voted last time I voted for the yellow puppet because he made fun noises on the TV. This then resulted in the other puppets being around. I just didn’t like the dour puppet, he was rubbish.
“All in all I think I’ll vote for the box closest to my pen when I pick it up, that way I’ll have a real influence on things.”
Political commentators countered Clegg’s argument:
“Well, look what happened this time four years ago. Five years? Whatever. Listen, Clegg came along telling us to vote for him and this then resulted in government existing and some people liking it, with other people not liking it. So to be fair, he’s clearly been paying attention.
“Indeed, if people do go and vote for parties that put up candidates, these parties could very possibly then gain seats. It’s quite difficult to follow, but that’s politics isn’t it?
‘Who will win? Fuck knows. Politics. Yeah, politics will win.”